I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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