But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
