It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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