i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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