I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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