This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
