between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
