OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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