you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
