Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
