he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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