Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
