Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
