I don't usually arrange sex via text message
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
