I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
