Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
