i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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