Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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