It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
His hands were made for my vagina.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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