I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
