Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
