playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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