I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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