even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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