It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
