Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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