I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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