who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
