Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she pinky promised me she was 18
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
