ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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