So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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