dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's blow job season.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You ruined the universe
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
