i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
