It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
