You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
