oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
