Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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