WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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