you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
