One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
