i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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