We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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