Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just gift wrapped bread.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
