So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
