Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
