so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
