Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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