Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
