well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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