Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
