did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
